The other D pointed out something that has always been in the back of my mind but I have never openly talked about it on here. Stubborn. My sub "wants" to be submissive but in reality she is VERY stubborn and hard headed. She wants everything to be her way and does not like when she is not in control of something. I know this is NO way for a sub to act, obviously the whole point is to be exactly opposite, aka a submissive or slave! DUH! I know this but it is VERY difficult to train an extremely controlling person to be less controlling and more submissive. If I have brought this up before I do not think I went into as much detail as I probably should have. For instance, tonight we were talking about her going to stay with the other D and she went on and on and ON about how she wants the experience to be perfect and for her to get the "most" out of it... WHAT? REALLY? I mean that is great and all but she is not suppose to be the one that makes the decisions on what she gets out of anything! I mean maybe I'm being a bit unruly about this but I just feel like she is ALWAYS trying to be the one in charge and that is why I am so adamant about sending her to a pro. I do not think I can "break" her like I previously thought I could. I mean I think I COULD but it would take a lot longer than two or three days. At some point it would be nice to send her away for a while week with another D. I think that would excite me. I really want to watch another D in action. I know that may sound weird but I think it would be beneficial to see how another D treats a sub, especially if it was my sub.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Fun new D's
I hope I do not always start my blogs the same. I sometimes feel like I do and I really try to change it up so it is not boring. I had a few very interesting conversations today. I have met a local domme who is interested in helping me, which I am very excited about. We had started out by talking about just general D/s relationships and different aspects of our own relationships with our subs. It was nice to talk about more than just doming and it was nice to know that there are other "normal" like minded people out there looking for similar things I want. I was out shopping for some new fabrics for Debbie's new outfits and it hit me! Like a jolt of lighting I asked the Domme, what would you think if I sent Debbie to you for a weekend? She was not taken back, shockingly since we don't know one another, and she said she would consider it. OMG sending your little sissy away for a weekend with a stranger!!!?? Not exactly, obviously I would be very safe in all respects. I would have to go meet up with this other Domme and make sure she is legit and all that mumbo jumbo. I would make sure to lay down ground rules; but not too many since I need my sub whipped into shape. I need her to come back to me crawling and begging for me to just hold her for a while :). I know it seems fast, but the earlier in the relationship I do this the better results I will get! I thought I was crazy at first when I asked, but from what I've read [unless people make it up all the time] it is not uncommon for beginner dommes to have professional Dommes whip their sub into shape! I think the hardest part is that it is difficult for my sissy to take me seriously because she sees me as her "girlfriend" and not her Domme.
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Thank you for your comments and answers regarding my questions.
ReplyDeleteA number of further questions arise as well from your answers as well as from your mail of August 30th.
You write about a marriage. Do I understand correctly that you want to marry but that Debby is rather reluctant ? It's not clear to me.
I think there is a huge difference between love and sex. Nevertheless I am of the opinion that they closely belong together and are interdependent in so far that if sex is cut off in a relation between "partners", I am of the opinion that it surely will have certain consequences. May be not instantly but anyway later on.
However, iI ask myself whether you two may be regarded real partners any longer. What is your opinion on this point.
Communication between you and Debbie seems not optimal.
COMMUNICATION VERSUS TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM.
DeleteI have the idea that present developments, (f.i. sending Debbie to a professional domme to whip "her" into shape) are not entirely consistent with the initial agreements between the two of you.
It is quite understandable that Debbie is rather reluctant that you deviate form the original agreement and that he wants an allround communication about it.
Whether this is topping from the bottom is not of vital importance.
According to my opinion it is essential that you two totally renew in mutual consultion the initial agreement in such a way that you both can live with it.
Maria
Debby writes in his/her diary, that he/she has decided not to read your diary to allow you your own privacy.
ReplyDeleteIf this is true, this implies that he/she may not have any knowledge of your potential intention to cuckold him/her.
I have the idea that it may be a dangerous development for your relation if he/she gets obsessed by the conviction that you don't have any real interest in his/her well-being and desires. I agree with Maria that the calling in of a (professional) domme has to be very thoroughly considered before you should engage in it.
As a consequence it may even lead tot the end of your mutual relation.
I think all of you are over thinking this. If you read Debbys blog, she is completely fine with going to a professional dominant. Actually judging by the tone, she wants to go because she thinks it will help her with overcoming her mental obstacles. It's obvious debby reads this, theres too many parallels and Vittoria knows that, shes stated it. Niether of them have mentioned cuckolding anytime soon, if it does happen It will be years from now! In regards to Marias post, I don't think it violates any agreement. Debbie is willing to do this! Shes eager to be submissive and learn! People need to calm down, everyone commenting seems to be playing mother hen!
ReplyDeleteAs Debbie's mistress, I do not intend to harm her in any way, shape or form. Nor do I believe I have violated any "agreement" which all of you are wrong in assuming we HAD an agreement. I actually stated in one of my earliest posts that this is a very "loosely" shaped contract. By contract I mean my word to her. I have not written or signed and neither has she any physical or mental agreement of any sort. I just want that to be extremely clear. I know she reads my blog, she tells me she does not but I know she does because of things she has talked about in our every day lives. I do not intend to cuckold now, does that mean it could change? YES! That is the beauty of our relationship- I would never do anything that she would leave me for... EVER. If she said in a serious sit down, all chastity aside convo, "if you cuckold me our relationship is over." I would not tarnish our relationship to have sex with a man. I love and care far too deeply for that to happen. As the last comment states Debbie is WILLING to do this. I did not even go out and find these other mistresses, she found them for me~! Granted, I told her to go and find them on fetlife and she did as she was told.
ReplyDeleteOh and to make it clear for everyone, she is VERY excited to go see this other Domme. We have been talking about it all weekend. The D is helping me get things together and she is very willing to accept Deb for a few days to get her into the Submissive space/mindset she needs to be in for this to work. I will be working on becoming more dominant while she is becoming more submissive. It's like a bootcamp for both of us. I won't physically be with her during her training but I will be teaching/ working on myself through other means.
And about the marriage thing, NO actually I AM the one that is reluctant towards marriage. I have never bought into the ideology of marriage, I think it is just a system put in place by church. With that being said, I know how much marriage means to Debbie and I would give up my selfish idea of it and marry him to make him happy. And on that note yes if we got married we would have sex on the honeymoon! gah I feel like a soap opera right now!
Also, this is for FUN and ENJOYMENT! We would not be doing this if we did not enjoy it so I do not mind questions or comments, actually I encourage them but ppl please don't read too much into this. We are in this lifestyle because we want to be! I'm not forcing him [well, I am but you know] and he's not forcing me!