I am not sure if it was the break or if I just had a ridiculously hectic weekend but I'm pooped! I feel like I've run two marathons and biked in a triathlon! Actually, I probably should because I was loosing weight and this past weekend makes me feel like I put it all back on :(.
I gave Debbie a break starting on Friday because I knew she sincerely needed it. She would poke and joke with me if I was being a "softy" as she has referred to it in the past. I was thriving off of all of our events last week and frankly, I miss it. I want to be back in full swing but I realized this weekend that I need to have a break at least two days a week from this lifestyle. It is extremely exhausting since I've been working a second job again. I went to work last tuesday from 10:30 am until 8 pm then when I got how I started and finished two more projects. I did not go to bed until after midnight and had to do it all over again the next day. After three days of that it really starts to wear on you. I have an intense pain in my muscles from the top of my spine all the way down to my lower back that is constantly emitting a tingling pain. The sad part is I went to the massage therapist last month two times!!!! It's bad I think I need to see a physical therapist or chiropractor. :/ I don't know maybe it will get better when things really jump off with my business! Which, luckily for me my little small at home biz I started is really picking up! Last week I can't believe how many orders I filled while still being dominant, I guess I needed a break this weekend too.
Well, the fun, [thankfully] is over! I am going to get back into my Domme mindset and whip Debbie into shape this week, If I can just get her to the point of no return then I won't have to worry about her little comments getting to me. I know everyone says to keep her gagged the whole time we're at home but to be honest I haven't been. I can't it is so annoying because even on the tightest loop that I personally made she can still wiggle it to make noise which is more annoying than her talking. Well I just got done with a strap on sesh and it was awesome. I actually went ahead and let her have a ruined so she could get some of that goo out of her. I need to get better at milking and I would like to get one of those medical suction machines so it gets all the cum out without letting her get off at all. It seems that it is very painful for the girls's dicky so that would be amazing to own one of those. I hope that I can get back into the Domme mindset I was in last week pretty quickly. It would be nice. I really liked when I just demanded things and she did them. I hate when she asks questions or "why"? Those two things really urk me!
:) I think everything will be better when I get her to another Domme so she can get into a sub space that really makes her submissive.
Yay, here's to hoping it happens sooner rather than later!
M.V.
If I may be so bold? I've only entered subspace during a session with someone I intimately trusted and knew me/my desires, certainly not someone I'm anxious with. (Also, those hormones only remain so long before subdrop kicks in and aftercare is required.) Expecting a session with another to shift everything might be expecting a bit much? (If you recall with Mobico's experience, others tended to set back their progress rather than accelerate it, or perhaps that was just my take-away?)
ReplyDeleteI'm not suggesting it wouldn't be beneficial, far from it! :-) Learning experiences offer growth! It's just your tone seems especially expectant this time, even more than usual, and it's wearying enough to top someone without any disappointment interfering. Also subs are VERY sensitive to disappointment in their loved ones, so even if it's displaced, it can be debilitating.
*shrugs, just some thought I figured I wouldn't keep to myself. ;-)
Good point.........
DeleteI can tell you me and my husband struggled with his submission for months, when I sent him to another local domme I met on FetLife, it was night and day difference! To each there own I suppose!
ReplyDeleteWell, I thank both of you for your input. Unfortunately, taking a week off from FLR is rather disappointing. I must say I'm having my doubts again about getting back into. It is not that I want to but rather I feel overwhelmed again, I know I was doing a great job but honestly, I cannot send her to someone else. I want to I know it would be beneficial but I would HAVE to be present. I do not trust people easily. I never have. To send her away would be like ripping my hip off.. it would kill me.
ReplyDeleteNo offense to anyone who may read this but honestly, I felt for the past couple weeks like I haven't been myself. I do want to get back into the FLR, which I will post about in a little bit but right now is just too demanding. I have one person telling me to go hardcore all the time another one telling me to just take it easy and another telling me that I'm at a perfect pace. I took this past week to think about what I WANT rather than what other Dommes want. I know everyone is telling me to do this, or do that but really this whole life is about me and what I THINK is best. I'm setting my own bar from now on and I'm not going to listen to anyone else. Which I think is going to be healthier for me and my amazing sub.
I may at some point send her to another local Domme, do not get me wrong, just not right now :)
Glad you are figuring out that the only thing that matters is you (and Debbie as well). It's nice to get advice from those with more experience but at the end of the day you have to do what works for you. There is no right or wrong way to do this. The speed at which you do this doesn't matter. There isn't anything you have to do and there isn't anything you don't have to do. My wife and I have done this for many years and we morph in and out of the lifestyle. When time, energy and her whims permit, I am her slave. When they don't we go back to everyday normal couple. This works for us but may not for someone else. And when we are "in" the lifestyle we are pretty severe. I have a feeling that you will do fine however you decide to go about this. You seem wise beyond your years.
ReplyDeleteMiss your post! I hope you still have your sissy! Waiting for an update!
ReplyDelete