Blah weekend.

I am not sure if it was the break or if I just had a ridiculously hectic weekend but I'm pooped! I feel like I've run two marathons and biked in a triathlon! Actually, I probably should because I was loosing weight and this past weekend makes me feel like I put it all back on :(.
I gave Debbie a break starting on Friday because I knew she sincerely needed it. She would poke and joke with me if I was being a "softy" as she has referred to it in the past. I was thriving off of all of our events last week and frankly, I miss it. I want to be back in full swing but I realized this weekend that I need to have a break at least two days a week from this lifestyle. It is extremely exhausting since I've been working a second job again. I went to work last tuesday from 10:30 am until 8 pm then when I got how I started and finished two more projects. I did not go to bed until after midnight and had to do it all over again the next day. After three days of that it really starts to wear on you. I have an intense pain in my muscles from the top of my spine all the way down to my lower back that is constantly emitting a tingling pain. The sad part is I went to the massage therapist last month two times!!!! It's bad I think I need to see a physical therapist or chiropractor. :/ I don't know maybe it will get better when things really jump off with my business! Which, luckily for me my little small at home biz I started is really picking up! Last week I can't believe how many orders I filled while still being dominant, I guess I needed a break this weekend too.

Well, the fun, [thankfully] is over! I am going to get back into my Domme mindset and whip Debbie into shape this week, If I can just get her to the point of no return then I won't have to worry about her little comments getting to me. I know everyone says to keep her gagged the whole time we're at home but to be honest I haven't been. I can't it is so annoying because even on the tightest loop that I personally made she can still wiggle it to make noise which is more annoying than her talking. Well I just got done with a strap on sesh and it was awesome. I actually went ahead and let her have a ruined so she could get some of that goo out of her. I need to get better at milking and I would like to get one of those medical suction machines so it gets all the cum out without letting her get off at all. It seems that it is very painful for the girls's dicky so that would be amazing to own one of those. I hope that I can get back into the Domme mindset I was in last week pretty quickly. It would be nice. I really liked when I just demanded things and she did them. I hate when she asks questions or "why"? Those two things really urk me!
:) I think everything will be better when I get her to another Domme so she can get into a sub space that really makes her submissive.

Yay, here's to hoping it happens sooner rather than later!

M.V.

Just a quick word...

Ehh... The past few days have been, bland, to say the least. Debbie approached me yesterday as soon as I got home from work [she still greeted me properly:)] and asked it we could have a serious conversation. I sighed and said of course, thinking something was wrong, she began with talking about how stressed out with work she has been and how my being so consistent all week had really taken a toll on her mental health. She has a job that requires hours of computer and math stuff that is pretty in depth so mental health is kind of a big deal. I could tell by her bambi eyes that she was being sincere and needed a short, quick break. I told her that since she properly greeted me and approached me in a sincere and non-aggressive way and that she had been so good all week that I would give her the night off. We have actually been going pretty hard core apparently. I guess I thought I was doing an okay job but she described me as doing a REALLY good job! I'm trying so hard to get her into her "sub space" before she goes off to any Domme other than me. I do hope sending her to another Domme is helpful but I am still weary, for all the right reasons I believe. It is very difficult for me to have another women control my slavey for a whole weekend. Don't get me wrong, I would really like to, but I am still trying to figure out why it is bugging me so much thinking about sending her away. Am I scared that this other women will steal her? No not really, I don't think that is possible, my slave loves and cares for me so much more than anything. Do I fear that my Debbie will long for that more intense Domme aspect, YES! I believe that is what I'm most afraid of. The local Domme I've been talking to had actually been talking to Debbie a bit and Debbie apparently liked it a little too much. I forbid her from talking to ANY other Dommes without my permission, other than Amy, I trust her like a sister since she's been there for me since the beginning. So, I found out that Debbie had done something opposite of what I asked of her which is why I forbid her from talking to any D's. She really does enjoy talking to them so I want to be in complete control of who she talks to so she doesn't have too much info. Especially if I'm planning something with a local.
I'm not trying to be a controlling bitch, but I want to have MY things, including her, right were I want them. It's my OCD side coming out I guess.

Well, tonight wasn't much to talk about either, I had big plans for Debbie when I got home and she was asleep. She's allowed an hour of "Deb time" every day after work. When she woke up she came to me again and sat down by me and just poured out everything that was on her mind. She apparently has been overworked, at work and by me, and is just exhausted. So, I decided to cancel my plans for her and told her that if she cleaned the entire house she did not have to wear her outfit or heels and she could just relax from this stressful week. A sissy is no use if she is unhealthy due to stress! I need her in tip-top shape, so I decided it would be for the best.

Another thing I wanted to point out is that my main focus this week was taking control. It was my goal and I think Debbie realized it. EVERY day I would focus on saying and repeating, "I'm in control! I make the decisions, Sissy's don't have a say in what happens! I wear the pants! You do not get to "Decide" anymore!" So I think I'm doing a good job ingraining in her mind that I'm the one in control now, not her. Don't worry everyone a little 2 day break can't stop my momentum at this point ;)

Goodnight! :)

Finally back!

I do apologize to all my lovely readers, the few anyways ;), that I have not posted in almost 5 days! I know I cannot believe it either. I had good intentions of posting every day this week... I even have a reminder set on my phone! I have just been super busy with work and trying to be more consistent. Which I want to add right away that I have been ridiculously consistent this week! WOOHOO! If you want to know super good details just jump over on Debbie's blog, I know she keeps track of everything A LOT better than I do! I don't have to read it to know she's putting every single detail in there.

Well, where to begin? Something happened to me Saturday that I cannot quite explain. I got this amazing urge to just be way better at this relationship. I think I finally realized HOW much she is REALLY doing for me and I feel like I really need to give some extra attention back to her. I mean she is wearing a chastity belt on her little clitty clit. (That's her useless dick in case you didn't get that ;)) I guess between talking to two amazingly helpful Dommes it has become much easier to get into a rhythm. I must say I thought it would take me another 2 weeks to get to the point I'm at now. I have been fucking, whipping, training, and making her wear heels daily! I have never been this good at it before. I feel more alive, although I was sick last night which sucked, I'm over that now so I'm getting back into the swing of things.
One MAJOR improvement is greeting and manners. I guess I've been so use to Debbie's terrible manners for 4 years that they just don't seem to get to me as much anymore. However, my Domme friend B pointed out to me that Debbie has some terrible manners and a bad attitude about a lot of this process. I think that B is right, Debbie has terrible manners. I really don't think I ever noticed it before but now it's getting on my nerves so bad. I am CONSTANTLY correcting her about say "mistress" say "please" say "thank you" or to properly greet me. I think her greet is rather cute, I may have described it before but I'll tell you again in case you don't remember. As soon as I walk in the door from work or shopping or whatever she must kneel and pull my skirt up and kiss my ass, bare of course. Then she is to ask me how my day was. I may start making her kiss my feet too! I'm trying to work my way up so she doesn't get too overwhelmed. I know slaves are suppose to do a lot of things but I want this to be super successful so I'm not going to rush or force Debbie to do things quickly... quickly usually leads to sloppy and I do NOT want a "SLOPPY SLAVE!" That just sounds terrible. Literally, say it out loud, SLOPPY SLAVE. It's just bad! So I want her to be as prim and proper as can be which is why my next outfit I'm making for her is a SCHOOL GiRL! I'm SO excited about it! I think it will be adorable! I'm going to make her wear it during training, that way she will learn better because she'll feel like she's in school!

Doing this!

Unfortunately, I was going to try to take Debbie to the other Domme this weekend but now I'm not sure if that can happen or not. We are still trying to work out the details so we'll see! It would be AMAZING if she could go but if she can't I will be patient and figure out a weekend that works for both Dommes. Just imagine the look on slaves face when she gets to a Domme she doesn't know and has never met! It would be so priceless! I know this sounds crazy but what I truly would like to do one day is take Deb to Amy, the first Domme I ever really talked to. She has been there for me from the VERY beginning. I mean she has stuck by me even when I went A-wall and just stopped talking to her completely. I felt bad about it afterwards but she was like it's cool, it happens. She seems super chill and I hope I get to meet her one day. That would be a dream of mine !!!! ;)

Oh fun times with Debbie this week! So, yesterday I did something that actually made me laugh, but I probably should not have laughed when it happened. As soon as I got home from work I had to punish Debbie for being a bad slave. She was disrespectful to the other domme B and she had forgotten to call me mistress about 10 times. I arrived home from work and she greeted me I immediately told her to go to the bedroom because I had something to do to her. I think she thought I was getting the strap-on because she looked a bit eager and she laid on the bed. I said " um, what are you doing?" Debbie "getting ready, mistress" Me: "he he he, no get over here and put your tall heels on." At that point she realized sh
e was not about to get fucked but she was about to get her ass beaten.  After cuffing her ankles and making sure her heels were on tight, I got the 30'' leg-spreader we made and locked it to her ankle cuffs. I said "Bend over and grab the bar" she kind of gave me a moan of how discomfortable this position was and I told her if she made a big deal about it she could stay like that for a  while. Well needless to say she piped down real quick. I started whipping her with the crop, which I can say UM I'm not that great at yet, but practice makes perfect right? Well I ended up hitting her between the balls, on the back side and she fell to the ground, instantly! I felt bad so I helped her up but then realized very quickly that she was fine, she is SUCH a drama queen! I mean I'm sure it hurt but really I didn't hit her THAT hard. I didn't stop after that though, I made her bend over the bed and take some more licks for being a little bitch about the whippings. I told her it is going to be a lot worse when Domme B does it! I think she is uber scared of Domme B.

I must say I have been very adamant about whipping her every day this week. I know it seems obsessive but I need her to understand that I'M in control. Not her. She is very controlling and I'm trying very hard to break her of that habit. I think in about 3-4 weeks she will be significantly more submissive that she currently is. Oh and tomorrow is hair removal day! We bought some more veet since it worked so great last time and we will be getting rid of all her her nasty dark hair. EVERY WHERE!  I want it all gone now, I like her body so much better hairless and we may end up with a stock pile of veet but at least she will be hair free! :) It makes me very happy to think about her hairless... mmm warm thoughts! One funny thing is we went to the lake this weekend and her brother pointed out that her legs were "shaved" I started laughing and said "yeah! I made him shave them because he has too much hair!" Her brother just laughed and said that's probably a lot cooler for the summer! So it was probably a bit humiliating for Deb. I had fun with it though. I'm hoping to not have to work as much in the next few weeks as I have been. I feel super exhausted. I know this is a long post but I'll update again tomorrow if I have time. For now I'm excited and have found a bunch of new toys I want to buy this weekend :)

Ta-ta for now!

Lemme be clear...

If you go to Debbie's Blog and read it in coherence with my blog you will find that Debbie and I are in this together! This is not a dictatorship and YES I am the one in control but I want to make it very clear that I am not putting Debbie in any harms way. Now on that note I do not apologize to anyone- except Debbie :) - So I will not be saying "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." If you don't like what I say then go away. Thank you!

I have brash opinions and will be doing things to Debbie that not every one will agree with; which is why there is an advisory label before you enter!

Okay now that all that bull shit is out of the way I want to tell all about my fabulous weekend! It started out with Debbie cooking me a wonderful breakfast in her full diaper I love when she waddles around in it, it is so cute! After breakfast I did something I have not done before- strap on in the am! Now I know how good vanilla sex is in the morning, personally it is my absolute favorite- although when Deb and I did have vanilla sex she never did that with me :/  Well it was awesome. I think at one point she actually said " if you keep doing that I'll get off ". I stopped at that point because I want her to be as frustrated with her clit as possible. She is getting to the point were she is begging me for hand jobs. I just tell her no. It is so great to say no to giving any pleasure to her! I cannot wait until she gets to the point were she's asking me to fuck her brains out just to get some satisfaction. I think it's already getting close to that.

Oh and now she has to say Mistress to me anytime she talks... it's rather cute. My Domme friend B [that will be her nickname] actually came up with this, I mean Debbie is to address me as mistress or madam at certain times but I never said she had to ALL the time. I like it better all the time, I think it ingrains it into her head better and faster. Also she has been talking to B for the past few days and she must call her ma'am every time she  talks to her. She apparently is not doing a very good job and will be punished for it later. :) That is exciting for me and I think it puts her on edge a little bit. It is fun to mind fuck her all the time now.

Tonight we got home pretty late and I wanted to use the strap on again! So I did! It is crazy how intense the strap on experiences are becoming. I have decided until I purchase a vibrating cock I'm just going to  use two dildos. I know it sounds funny, but it actually works great! I have been using the large "king kong" dildo which is so much more fun than the tiny one. Oh and don't worry I made her suck on it first! She'e been doing that every time now. I also made her suck on the small dildo while I was fucking her with the big one. It was actually amazing.

I've also been more into slapping her when she says something I don't like, just to correct her right then so she won't disobey me or say something wrong again. I think it's working...

Well I'm exhausted but I'll try to get back on tomorrow.

Fun new D's

I hope I do not always start my blogs the same. I sometimes feel like I do and I really try to change it up so it is not boring. I had a few very interesting conversations today. I have met a local domme who is interested in helping me, which I am very excited about. We had started out by talking about just general D/s relationships and different aspects of our own relationships with our subs. It was nice to talk about more than just doming and it was nice to know that there are other "normal" like minded people out there looking for similar things I want. I was out shopping for some new fabrics for Debbie's new outfits and it hit me! Like a jolt of lighting I asked the Domme, what would you think if I sent Debbie to you for a weekend? She was not taken back, shockingly since we don't know one another, and she said she would consider it. OMG sending your little sissy away for a weekend with a stranger!!!?? Not exactly, obviously I would be very safe in all respects. I would have to go meet up with this other Domme and make sure she is legit and all that mumbo jumbo. I would make sure to lay down ground rules; but not too many since I need my sub whipped into shape. I need her to come back to me crawling and begging for me to just hold her for a while :). I know it seems fast, but the earlier in the relationship I do this the better results I will get! I thought I was crazy at first when I asked, but from what I've read  [unless people make it up all the time] it is not uncommon for beginner dommes to have professional Dommes whip their sub into shape! I think the hardest part is that it is difficult for my sissy to take me seriously because she sees me as her "girlfriend" and not her Domme.

The other D pointed out something that has always been in the back of my mind but I have never openly talked about it on here. Stubborn. My sub "wants" to be submissive but in reality she is VERY stubborn and hard headed. She wants everything to be her way and does not like when she is not in control of something. I know this is NO way for a sub to act, obviously the whole point is to be exactly opposite, aka a submissive or slave! DUH! I know this but it is VERY difficult to train an extremely controlling person to be less controlling and more submissive. If I have brought this up before I do not think I went into as much detail as I probably should have. For instance, tonight we were talking about her going to stay with the other D and she went on and on and ON about how she wants the experience to be perfect and for her to get the "most" out of it... WHAT? REALLY? I mean that is great and all but she is not suppose to be the one that makes the decisions on what she gets out of anything! I mean maybe I'm being a bit unruly about this but I just feel like she is ALWAYS trying to be the one in charge and that is why I am so adamant about sending her to a pro. I do not think I can "break" her like I previously thought I could. I mean I think I COULD but it would take a lot longer than two or three days. At some point it would be nice to send her away for a while week with another D. I think that would excite me. I really want to watch another D in action. I know that may sound weird but I think it would be beneficial to see how another D treats a sub, especially if it was my sub.

Clean house and files are working!

I love coming home to a clean house... and eating a GREAT dinner is another great beny of having a slave! I think she had to make up for last night's terrible nibbles. I think I hurt her feelings a bit when I flat out told her "this is really bad". She got over it and cooked an amazing veil dinner with baked potatoes, salad and sauteed onions. Yum! Okay... now to the good part. :D

It was a slow evening, I had to work on some stuff that is due tomorrow so I chained sissy to the bed and played the files for about an hour. While she was chained up I was not satisfied with the gag she has. I took it off and cut another hole in the strap below the shortest length. She has always been able to more the gag around in her mouth which bothers me... well now she can't :). I really loved the expression on her face when I pulled the gag so tight she couldn't budge it! It gave me warm feelings all over. Hopefully I'm not a sadist... hehe. I do often find satisfaction when I accidentally cause her pain. It sometimes gives me an overwhelming feeling of joy and goosebumps! Not sure if that is a good thing or bad? I know this is going to be a short post but I will say that I have been going back and re-reading my goals. I have not been doing it daily like I should be, but at least I am looking at them and keeping the goals fresh in my mind! I am going to be on craigslist a bunch this weekend and looking in the paper and on ebay for some good deals on fun items! Yes I want a high chair, why? I don't know probably because Amy has talked about it so much that it has made me want one! hehe :) Maybe it is because I think Debbie will look so damn cute sitting in a highchair eating her din-din with a huge bib on that has a big "D" in the center with ducks and abc's blocks! haha it does sound adorable. UGH I knew this would happen if Amy kept talking about baby stuff all the time. It makes me wanna turn sissy into a baby sometimes. I don't know yet we'll see what happens I guess!

Okay, sorry this is so short but I'm off work early tomorrow so I'll get on here and my FetLife to update!
yay!

***EDIT***

I do not edit my posts often, but I wanted everyone to be aware that I did have a discussion with my superior Domme and she and I set up a timeline of goals. This is a very good thing for me, we spent a lot of time on it and I have been checking it daily to see what I need to do/change to accomplish my goals! I just wanted to inform everyone that as of now I have completed two goals :). I am being more consistent with the strap on and I am remembering to train and make her greet me upon arriving home. Even though these may not sound like huge milestones- for me they are! I have such a hard time just remembering what I need to do on a daily basis that for me to have actually done this all week (since she got home) is great! I think this means I need to reward myself with a little present :).

I love when sissy comes home!

It's always so much fun when sissy returns from a work trip. We had a lovely dinner with some family and afterwards we went back home to relax... So sissy thought! I had other plans in mind. I'm getting better at remembering what I want to do to her when we get home. She has had a dry spell for the past few days since she was out of town so as soon as we arrived home I instructed her to put the medium butt plug in. She did as she was told and I went about finishing up the petticoat I started! It turned out great! It is going to pair so nicely with her new skirt! When I was done I instructed her to lay on the bed. She nicely begged to lay on her stomach for once because she was so tired from traveling and I said that was fine. I got out my regular size strap on, lubed it up really nicely and started going at it. After a few minutes I realized how nice and loose she was and how much she was enjoying it! So I decided to get on my King Kong! That's my large strap on its close to double the size of the regular one. :D I put on King Kong and then I took the vibrator and put it under the strap on in between my legs. It was magical! Between the thrusting, the vibrating, and the moaning I easily got off which is still an odd feeling but it was great! After a little while I slowly slid out of her and cleaned up. [hehe] She was moaning in pain yet I think she thoroughly enjoyed this strap on session. I believe after almost 3 whole days of not having any touch, slap, strap on, or any type of arousal she was VERY horny. I was very pleased with the session. It was pretty late by the time we got done, so I decided not to do the files last night. It was pretty late when we finally went to bed so I believe it was a successful night!

I got off work late tonight, around 8:15-8:30 and when I arrived Sissy had just gotten home. I was a little shocked by this because normally when I come home the house is super clean and dinner is being prepared. Well, I guess she had to work late or help her mom out so she got home much later than usual. Ugh, I guess sometimes life just gets in the way of this... annoyingly. Well, dinner was not the best- rather bland. Normally she is a great cook, rather creative in the kitchen might I add. I don't know I guess we need to go grocery shopping. After dinner... I had to get some work done so sissy just cleaned the kitchen like she was told. I did have a nice good spanking session after my work and explained to her that she is not to sit on the couch while eating and to remember to greet me every time I come home from work. Soon I am really going to get intense with the rules. I am going over a few rules everyday to get her in the habit of understanding them. I guess all slaves are bad after a few days of being off. Ugh work trips! It's such a catch 22, it's nice to have time alone but bad because when she comes back she is back into old habits. I need to figure out how to be more strict with her. I know how badly I want to be serious, I think I have to get an isolation mask. I remember in Mobico's story that his wife had a very difficult time especially in the beginning at being strict and serious. I remember at some point she said she could not take her role seriously because all she saw when she looked at him was her husband and not her slave. I need to have that authority in order to be better at this. I think the mask is my only option. Right now when I try to be serious I just end up laughing because sissy will make a stupid silly face or make a funny noise. I laugh at just about anything so she can very easily distract me.

I think the isolation hood, the crib with a locking closing door, and a highchair would all be great additions to our little collection.
Yay!